I am writing this post in hopes that it
will be an encouragement to others. This is a story of how my wife, JoLynne,
and I ended up with our daughter, Talianna.
When we got married back in 2012, we had
already discussed when we thought we would start a family. This was not a
surprise to family members who know that we like to plan. Our plan was to start
having kids after 2 years of marriage, that way we could have a few years of
enjoying marriage as just the two of us, and still have 4 kids by a good age. We ended up trying to get pregnant
earlier than that, in Feb 2014. We knew it would probably take a few months, so
why not start trying early.
Well a few months went by, and no baby. We had a month that we thought might be the one, but a test revealed that not to be the
case. Each month got progressively
harder to take…. the wondering of whether this was the month, then the letdown
that was the reality. One couple that we are friends with started trying prior
to that, so we talked about how we would feel bad if we got pregnant before
them…. but they got pregnant and it gave us hope (that we would be on a similar
timeline). As I worked on my Masters, I took the positive that I would have another
month before baby to work on my Masters. We investigated various options to try
and assist us, but nothing worked.
After a year we got referred to the fertility
clinic in Calgary, what a great resource. We went through some different tests
and found out the results were good – we should be able to have a child! They
presented us with the options we could investigate if we continued to have no success.
We got a prescription for a drug to help us in getting pregnant. We decided to investigate seeing a naturopath first before taking the drug. We started a new method of attack via healthy eating (both) and vitamins (JoLynne) in Jan 2016, hoping the
changes would lead to a baby. The diet was basically no wheat, no corn, no
refined sugars, no pork... so basically nothing we normally ate! It looked like
an insurmountable (and expensive) challenge, but we took it week by week and handled it (with the
help of our weekly meal planning, and Pinterest). After a few months (including
some cleanses and tons of vitamins) there was no baby, but we had both seen a big
improvement in our health! JoLynne and I had both lost 10 or 20 pounds, and
JoLynne’s anxiety dropped significantly. Even with no baby after 2 years, at
least we were healthier. We determined that at the very least, we were healthier and that would help in getting pregnant.
So, time went on and we kept trying. It got
harder as other friends of ours started trying and got pregnant right away it
seemed. We were frustrated. Each month we tried to have faith that it would happen, but it was tough. Sometimes it seemed like it would never happen. It was a daily routine to pray for getting pregnant
with a healthy baby, and a monthly routine asking God why we weren’t. The emotional
letdown of another period didn’t get any easier to take. We had to remind
ourselves that it was God’s timing and plan, not ours. It became difficult to
sit in church some Sundays, looking around at the little babies and of course
thinking about our own plight (instead of being thankful for God’s provision in
our lives). We were blessed however to have good friends walking along side us
(such as Matt & Megan) who had been through similar difficulties and had their
own challenges. I remember singing in church the words, “your grace is enough”.
Some days it was hard to sing that without tearing up and wondering why we
couldn’t have a baby, other days it was still hard, but I thought to myself “God
must be enough for me, otherwise I couldn’t handle this”.
Fast forward to 2017. We got a new prescription
for the fertility drug and planned to investigate doing IUI after our big trip
out east (Kingston, Ottawa, Montreal, Quebec City). In September, we decided
spur of the moment to go see a Broadway show, The Lion King. It was another
month where we could be pregnant, but we weren’t optimistic. We planned on
doing the test the morning of the concert. Dinner and a show would be either a
celebration of being pregnant, or another way of distracting ourselves if need
be. Well, it was a celebration, we couldn’t believe it. I can’t put into words
the feeling of excitement we had…it was hard not to share it from the rooftops
right away. After 3 and a half years of trying, we were pregnant.
As we waited the 9 months for Talianna to
arrive, we discussed the miracle of a baby and how God’s plan is always better
than we think! We remembered the life events that were much easier to do
without a baby and were thankful. How different buying a house might have been
in 2015 with a baby (and the associated expenses). I was able to finish my master’s
degree, we went on a big west coast road trip in 2015, a big eastern Canada
trip in 2017. These adventures and challenges would have been way more
difficult (although good in their own way) had we already been parents. Were we
ready to have a baby 4 years ago? Maybe, but we are way readier for what comes
with being a parent now than we were back then. God has been preparing us (teaching
us patience and that he is all we need) for this next step. I had made a plan of sorts years earlier, that I would be married by 25 (I was 25 when JoLynne and I got married) and have a baby and house by 30. Well, our house was purchased in 2015, and our baby would be born just 3 weeks before I would turn 31... made it just under the wire haha.
We have also been blessed by family, friends, and co-workers who have provided us with many baby items either for free or a really good price. Another positive of it taking so long, many of our friends have already had their first kid (or all their kids), leading to hand-me-down items and clothes. JoLynne mastered purchasing on a facebook maternity site, which definitely saved us some money, along with a few key purchases on kijiji etc. Through the time of trying and then waiting for baby to arrive we felt the huge support of our family, friends, and church family (Bonavista EMC!). I don't know how many people said they were praying for us, but it must have been a few hundred? So special to have people in our lives that support us, even though we didn't realize most of them were caring about us without us realizing for most of the time.
The pregnancy wasn’t without it’s scares. One
early one led to an early ultrasound (6 weeks), where we couldn’t believe it when we could see the tiny little heart beating on the screen. Our little one seemed like a miracle even at that point. Another scare involved an accident (at 11 weeks)and JoLynne’s
car being written off (goodbye Yaris). The birth went fairly quick from what
was expected (if you want to know more on that, you can ask us sometime).
At 5:23am on June 2, 2018 we welcomed our
firstborn child. Once again, words cannot express the excitement, the love for this little one. It still sort of feels unreal. We are in the early stages, but she is such a sweetheart and we couldn't be happier. Worth the wait. This unbelievably
little (7lbs, 1oz), cute blessing from God, is our daughter Talianna Joy Warkentin.
