Talianna

I am writing this post in hopes that it will be an encouragement to others. This is a story of how my wife, JoLynne, and I ended up with our daughter, Talianna.

When we got married back in 2012, we had already discussed when we thought we would start a family. This was not a surprise to family members who know that we like to plan. Our plan was to start having kids after 2 years of marriage, that way we could have a few years of enjoying marriage as just the two of us, and still have 4 kids by a good age. We ended up trying to get pregnant earlier than that, in Feb 2014. We knew it would probably take a few months, so why not start trying early.

Well a few months went by, and no baby. We had a month that we thought might be the one, but a test revealed that not to be the case.  Each month got progressively harder to take…. the wondering of whether this was the month, then the letdown that was the reality. One couple that we are friends with started trying prior to that, so we talked about how we would feel bad if we got pregnant before them…. but they got pregnant and it gave us hope (that we would be on a similar timeline). As I worked on my Masters, I took the positive that I would have another month before baby to work on my Masters. We investigated various options to try and assist us, but nothing worked.

After a year we got referred to the fertility clinic in Calgary, what a great resource. We went through some different tests and found out the results were good – we should be able to have a child! They presented us with the options we could investigate if we continued to have no success. We got a prescription for a drug to help us in getting pregnant. We decided to investigate seeing a naturopath first before taking the drug. We started a new method of attack via healthy eating (both) and vitamins (JoLynne) in Jan 2016, hoping the changes would lead to a baby. The diet was basically no wheat, no corn, no refined sugars, no pork... so basically nothing we normally ate! It looked like an insurmountable (and expensive) challenge, but we took it week by week and handled it (with the help of our weekly meal planning, and Pinterest). After a few months (including some cleanses and tons of vitamins) there was no baby, but we had both seen a big improvement in our health! JoLynne and I had both lost 10 or 20 pounds, and JoLynne’s anxiety dropped significantly. Even with no baby after 2 years, at least we were healthier. We determined that at the very least, we were healthier and that would help in getting pregnant.

So, time went on and we kept trying. It got harder as other friends of ours started trying and got pregnant right away it seemed. We were frustrated. Each month we tried to have faith that it would happen, but it was tough. Sometimes it seemed like it would never happen. It was a daily routine to pray for getting pregnant with a healthy baby, and a monthly routine asking God why we weren’t. The emotional letdown of another period didn’t get any easier to take. We had to remind ourselves that it was God’s timing and plan, not ours. It became difficult to sit in church some Sundays, looking around at the little babies and of course thinking about our own plight (instead of being thankful for God’s provision in our lives). We were blessed however to have good friends walking along side us (such as Matt & Megan) who had been through similar difficulties and had their own challenges. I remember singing in church the words, “your grace is enough”. Some days it was hard to sing that without tearing up and wondering why we couldn’t have a baby, other days it was still hard, but I thought to myself “God must be enough for me, otherwise I couldn’t handle this”.

Fast forward to 2017. We got a new prescription for the fertility drug and planned to investigate doing IUI after our big trip out east (Kingston, Ottawa, Montreal, Quebec City). In September, we decided spur of the moment to go see a Broadway show, The Lion King. It was another month where we could be pregnant, but we weren’t optimistic. We planned on doing the test the morning of the concert. Dinner and a show would be either a celebration of being pregnant, or another way of distracting ourselves if need be. Well, it was a celebration, we couldn’t believe it. I can’t put into words the feeling of excitement we had…it was hard not to share it from the rooftops right away. After 3 and a half years of trying, we were pregnant.

As we waited the 9 months for Talianna to arrive, we discussed the miracle of a baby and how God’s plan is always better than we think! We remembered the life events that were much easier to do without a baby and were thankful. How different buying a house might have been in 2015 with a baby (and the associated expenses). I was able to finish my master’s degree, we went on a big west coast road trip in 2015, a big eastern Canada trip in 2017. These adventures and challenges would have been way more difficult (although good in their own way) had we already been parents. Were we ready to have a baby 4 years ago? Maybe, but we are way readier for what comes with being a parent now than we were back then. God has been preparing us (teaching us patience and that he is all we need) for this next step. I had made a plan of sorts years earlier, that I would be married by 25 (I was 25 when JoLynne and I got married) and have a baby and house by 30. Well, our house was purchased in 2015, and our baby would be born just 3 weeks before I would turn 31... made it just under the wire haha.

We have also been blessed by family, friends, and co-workers who have provided us with many baby items either for free or a really good price. Another positive of it taking so long, many of our friends have already had their first kid (or all their kids), leading to hand-me-down items and clothes.  JoLynne mastered purchasing on a facebook maternity site, which definitely saved us some money, along with a few key purchases on kijiji etc. Through the time of trying and then waiting for baby to arrive we felt the huge support of our family, friends, and church family (Bonavista EMC!). I don't know how many people said they were praying for us, but it must have been a few hundred? So special to have people in our lives that support us, even though we didn't realize most of them were caring about us without us realizing for most of the time.

The pregnancy wasn’t without it’s scares. One early one led to an early ultrasound (6 weeks), where we couldn’t believe it when we could see the tiny little heart beating on the screen. Our little one seemed like a miracle even at that point. Another scare involved an accident  (at 11 weeks)and JoLynne’s car being written off (goodbye Yaris). The birth went fairly quick from what was expected (if you want to know more on that, you can ask us sometime).

At 5:23am on June 2, 2018 we welcomed our firstborn child. Once again, words cannot express the excitement, the love for this little one. It still sort of feels unreal. We are in the early stages, but she is such a sweetheart and we couldn't be happier. Worth the wait. This unbelievably little (7lbs, 1oz), cute blessing from God, is our daughter Talianna Joy Warkentin.

manuscripts, gradutation, birthdays and weddings

hey everybody

so It's been a long time since i posted anything on here.
Since I last posted, I finished my last 4 classes and graduated University! I have a Bachelor of Commerce in Operations Management now. A bunch of my family came up for my convocation (grad ceremony) and we had a big bbq and gathering at my house in June, once the rain managed to let up! it was awesome, and we also celebrated my sisters graduation (she is finishing her social work degree this fall!) and my cousin's graduation this year, as well as my neice Abigail's birthday.
Later in the month I turned 23 on the 23rd, and celebrated my birthday with my small group as well as 4 other birthday parties that week!
I have been looking for a full-time job in my field since April, which has not been fun. I have had some interviews, and even a recruitment day, but no job as of yet.
I have also had football start again for the summer, and its over halfway over now (sadly). Our team is 5-4 now after losing our last 3, but it has been fun and we should be able to turn it around and get into the playoffs.
I also attended 2 weddings so far this summer. two of my friends from Capernwray (Colton and Stacia) got married in Seattle, and since I am unemployed, I drove out there. It turned into a great reunion, as there were 20 of us from Capernwray at the wedding, and Mark and I hung out a fair bit which was great.
later in the summer I attended the wedding of Jason and Kristen, driving to a small town, and hanging out with a few of my friends from Bonavista that went too.
Also I have been attending young adult events, one got cancelled so Jake, Holly and I went anyways (to Banff), we are doing the actual Banff trip this month!

I have also continued to go to my small group (well, they now come to my house!) and we finished up the truth project. It was was an interesting series to go through and discuss as a group. since it has finished, we decided to do a manuscript study of Acts. So last week we discussed the first chapter. It was great discussion. here is a recap I gave to a few of the guys from our group that missed out (the guys thought this pretty much summed up our discussion last week):
Greg went through the details of a manuscript study, things we can look for, basically its indepth as you make it. you can pull many things out of it. so for next week, print out the section we will be doing without verse numbers or titles and just read it first. then grab some pencils/colours etc and go nuts! (look for things such as numbers, repetitive ideas/words, themes, who is speaking, mood...and on and on - the idea is to print it out so you can draw lines, boxes, pictures, whatever)
oh and when reading through, come up with your own titles for the sections.
hope that makes sense, Greg said alot more than that but thats the gist.
also, bring one observation and one question with you, this is our homework.
So, we looked at Acts chapter 1, which had much more than we expected.
we started discussing vs 4-8. we discussed the back and forth with Jesus, the people possibly getting impatient and wanting answers and Jesus redirecting them to not needing to know the future. Jesus said to wait also, then gave them a promise of recieving power. the disciples were showing their confusion as Jesus was talking about the kingdom of God while they were thinking kingdom of Israel.
another thing we discussed was the men looking into the sky(vs 10) when 2 men dressed in white. some of our versions said heaven, basically they were looking up. we were wondering if heaven and sky were the same word in Greek. also interesting that Luke points out there were 2 men. repetitive about heaven in vs 11.

in vs 13 it mentions all the disciples, but not luke, who wrote Acts. we assume he was there for it, but he didn't name himself, maybe cultural, or he was passed the story on.

in vs 14 - constantly in prayer, joining together, it was good having several versions as we were able to figure that it was as one, one accord etc.

in vs 15, Peter stood up among the believers, we don't know how long after Jesus went to heaven, but it must have been some gap in time as they numbered around 120.

one question was Judas info in vs 18-19, everything in scripture is there for a reason, we questioned the need for it. we crossreferenced and figured it is likely just discussing that he got a reward for his wicked deeds, interesting that he chose to turn jesus in, then chose a nasty death

we discussed for awhile how they chose Matthias. in vs 20 it discusses leadership, in another version, it said role position, sort of like a job. still leadership though, as the disciples were the leaders. it was necessary to choose someone who had been with Jesus, maybe the first prerequisites for being in a position of leadership within the believers. we discussed 'witness' and the differences between it in vs 8 and vs 22 and what this word was supposed to mean. would be interesting to do more research on the word. it seemed witness was someone who was there with Jesus, but also someone who was able to share or lead. we can't be witnesses in once sense because we weren't actually there with Jesus, but we can be witnesses of what we believe and of Jesus' story. really we should be witnesses and that means to know what happened and have no doubts, easier said than done.

still on Matthias, they wanted God to show them, but how. they engaged in a game of chance, trusting that God would influence it correctly. this was how they had to decide. it is important to note that this is the last time casting lots was recorded in the bible, and it happened in the passage immediately prior to the pentecost! this led to some talk in our group about decision making and asking God for direction, sometimes he might speak to us or give us guidance in some way, but like the disciples, we shouldn't just sit around waiting for an answer. the disciples prayed then took action. it doesn't mean we should just do whatever, because we should still go to God and ask him to guide us, but we should trust that he will nudge us in the direction he wants us to go, and if we still go in the wrong direction, he won't turn his back. it just might take a little longer to get where he wants us.

I hope that sparks some thoughts

Adam

the Pernicious Lie

Hey everybody,
A quick post that I meant to write a few weeks ago.
lately I have been getting together with some friends in a small group on tuesday nights. It has been great, encouraging and challenging. we started getting together and catching up on our weeks then discussing a passage from the Bible. lately we have started a video series called "the Truth Project"
It looks at truth from different angles, from a Christian perspective. anyways the last week we watched it, it looked at "who is man?" and discussed the pernicious lie. the pernicious lie is a fundamental lie about who man is
its hard to replicate what was said as each episode is a packed hour of discussion/points, but here is a little tidbit

the question is who is man? there are 3 facets to look at: his essence, his moral state and his need.
the christian perspective (or truth) is that his essence is being in the image of God, both flesh and spirit.
the lie is that he is material, has no purpose, a goo man
the truth about his moral state is that he is fallen.
the lie about his moral state is that he is good, Maslow says we have no instinct for evil (say what?)
the truth about our need is that we need redemption
the lie is that our need is self-actuallization, basically that it is all about us.

now the biggest thing here that stand out is saying that we are basically good or basically evil. well we are not basically good, we are selfish. when we look out only for our interests, we take from others, we don't respect others, we are evil. but the world thinks self-actuallization is what we need. if we only focus on ourselves, the bad part, the selfish part comes through. whereas if our need is redemption, we let God work through us and the hope is that the good outwieghs the bad.
some people say we are good on our own and don't need God. then what influences the terrible things we see? Hitler and the Jews, countries nuclear bombing each other, rapists etc (you can think of more examples i'm sure). why do these things happen? because we think we are completely right to do what we want, often for selfish reasons. sure bad things have happened in the name of religion, no doubt. people can take the part of a religion that benefits them and miss the redemption, the God part, they take scriptures out of context to benefit whatever they think is right.

there is the question of why is there evil? if we are inherently good (as the world would suggest, humanist etc) then how can there be evil. of course there must be some distinction for something being evil, otherwise why does it bother us? how can you feel about about something being bad if everything is right for the person doing the action. there has to be something that governs what is good and what is bad. if are are truely here to self-actualize, as Abraham Maslow suggests, then why are we bothered by evil or bad things. as long as we are self-actualizing, we wouldn't care what happens in Africa or that sort of thing would we?

Did you know in the UK the leading cause for women and 2nd leading cause for men to end up in hospital is suicide attempts? kinda sad, but if we ignore God, we focus on ourselves, and the selfishness can be a dangerous path. we need redemption, and Jesus offers that. we are in the image of God and also ahve a sinful nature. our sinful nature can push out the truth.

I am going to leave it there, hopefully it has provoked some thought, and comment if you want to. We are watching the 4th episode tonight, which is on who is God.

thanks for reading as always,

Adam